See You Next Wednesday
Wednesday, April 26
 
The Muppet Autumn Spectacular.
The Koozbanians and the Martians preceded their first public performance of the Intergalactic Juggling Extravaganza with a food fight. The curtain has gone up and the show is on stage right now. So far the audience have been engaged but unmoved to ovate. At least they're not jeering (yet).

World's Barghest Dungeon.
Emma has set off to be clever in residence for a couple of days before returning to Pirate Cove and (*sigh*) the zoo. So the poor dear lady missed last night's session of WLD where Gruk and his colleagues cleaned up the barghest pack. After revivifying Dardiana and Oscar (and a sleep*) the adventure hungry party set off in search of the Rooms of Gold and some allies. Unfortunately they had ventured into an eerily desolate section: the Rooms of Gold turned out to be wishful thinking and the hoped for allies had all been slain.

Egon discovered destroying shadows was far easier then wrestling with the concept of rebuking and swiftly cleared the only opposition. There were numerous magical weapons to be had, which was nice as the players had earlier pointed out the atrocious lack of such things obtained so far. On the other hand the weapons were obtained from people who had died while using them against whatever** had rendered this section so eerily desolate...

Next week: The room of golden dinosaurs (not).
*The 'spartan' (sic) room was also 'comfortable' and had cushions.
**The only description of these bad guys so far has been 'non-insectoid'.
 
Wednesday, April 19
 
So this is Easter*.

The World's Largest Dungeon session was postponed to the Easter long weekend for medical reasons. Emma came to town for ten days before she heads off to Armidale to be a clever lady. So the whole gang was here for a Sunday game and I had a couple of extra days to prepare, which was nice.

With some concrete plans (let's look for dinosaurs) and a map (I bet the dinosaurs are here) the party set off and were immediately deterred by the huge spiky trap which killed Urza. (He got better.) After adding another step to the standard procedures for traversing the dungeon they headed off again in search of dinosaurs, and strolled through a railroad of tests with no obvious purpose. Soon the suspected dinosaur park was located and found to be not guilty of harbouring giant flesh eating reptiles; only a couple of surly plants.

The game paused for Easter Monday, and business hours on Tuesday. But then we all returned to the table and the party set off again, completely recovered from the lack of dinosaurs. Fortunately there was a pack of barghests, with loot, to hamper their progress and provide nearly overwhelming opposition. The belligerent blue beasts blinked about the battleground and were barely beaten back before somebody bit the bucket**. Pausing briefly to gather resources and swig healing potions, the heroes took off after the bad doggies. Lulling the barghests into a false sense of security by walking into an ambush, the second round went to the good guys. Egon's skeletal minions took the brunt of the attack until Oscar cast a (much maligned) glitterdust spell and blinded the previously invisible pack leader. Kelvin and his cohort Dardiana finished off the smaller dogs while Gruk took out their boss. Yay, team!

* For values of Easter equal to games.
** Always avoid alliteration.
 
Monday, April 10
 
Sometimes being encouraging is confounded by the communicative limitations of smiling and nodding.


There is a new Canberra Dungeons & Dragons Meetup group getting organized. I went to their first meeting to boost the numbers, be encouraging and let them know there is already a group which has been running for a year and a half. Boosting the numbers worked; there were four of us, one more than turned up to the first meetup group. And while Jon, the organizer, was encouraged by the turn out, I failed to find much else to encourage.

Jon was enthusiastic about getting back into D&D. The last time he played the game stopped because when the good characters were killed by the evil characters their players generated some more evil characters and the party ended up just fighting each other. And then there was another game which ended when a character stole his magic pendant and the GM said his character didn't know which one did it, so his character coshed them all in their sleep and tortured them until they confessed. But he's really looking forward to getting back into it again. He doesn't know how people can play good characters because sometimes you just want to lash out and kill something. (Smile and nod*.)

The other two people were also keen to play. They had all agreed fifth level would be a good place to start. Jason wanted to play version 3.0 because he didn't want to have to learn about five foot steps and all that stuff. He could only play during the week. John could only play on the weekend, but they didn't see a problem because he had all the 3.0 books in pdf format and they had agreed to start at fifth level. (Smile and nod.)

So I told them about the Canberra Dungeons & Dragons Meetup group which already had dozens of players. I told them there were some D&D games already running which would take new players. I told them there were also Ars Magica and Star Wars games, and soon Cyberpunk. They all smiled and nodded and returned to planning their own game. (I think Jon actually sneered when I said Star Wars.)

*And back away slowly.
 
Sunday, April 9
 
Why I love the internet.

May I surf the internet, please?

First you must choose a 'profile'. Please create a new profile or select a profile from this list: 'Default'.

I don't want to choose a profile now, I want to surf the internet. I shall cancel this interruption.

Now may I surf the internet, please?

First you must choose a 'profile'. Please create a new profile or select a profile from this list: 'Default'.

It seems this profile thing has become compulsory so I shall select 'Default'.

Default profile is not available. Please create a new profile or select a profile from this list: 'Default'.

Two out of three options do not allow me to surf the internet. I shall try the third option a create a new profile.

Please select the account you wish to create a profile for from this list: 'chris', 'emma', 'kate', 'linda'.

You make it sound like I want to do this. All I want to do is surf the internet. This profile stuff was your idea. I can guess where cancel will get me, so I will select 'chris'.

To create a new profile you need to upgrade to the latest version of this software. Do you want to download the latest version of this software now?

No, I want to surf the internet now. However, I have learned surfing the internet is not an option unless I comply with your demands, so I shall download the latest version of this software.

Do you want to install the latest version of this software now?

No, actually. This has taken too long. I just wanted to check my mail but now I have to go and play volleyball.

[One 20-63 thrashing for Next Week For Sure, with bonus spiking lesson, later.]

May I surf the internet, please?

First you must choose a 'profile'. Please create a new profile or select a profile from this list: 'Default'.

Bonjour, Madame Guillotine. I shall cut to the chase; install the update.

To maintain the facade of choice I shall ask for permission to restart the computer.

Why not? What could possibly go wrong?

May I surf the internet, please?

First you must choose a 'profile'. Please create a new profile or select a profile from this list: 'Default'.

One new profile, please.

Please select the account you wish to create a profile for from this list: 'chris', 'emma', 'kate', 'linda'.

Umm... 'chris'!

There you go, all done. Here is the internet you requested, and here is an advertisement called a help page. (It doesn't provide you with any help, it gives you links to features you will need help with.)

Okay, thank you. Please open my home page.

This is your home page.

Ooh, you have made your 'help page' my home page. Clever and annoying. That's the sort of feature which makes me want to not use your application. Fortunately this has happened to me before and I have bookmarked my home page.

Unfortunately your bookmarks are not part of the profile you were required (I mean chose) to create just now.

Quel suprise! I didn't expect to find my bookmarks in the bookmarks menu. I expect I shall have to search through the file directory and copy my old bookmark file into this new profile you have forced upon me.

Oh no. My mischief has been foiled. I shall have to fall back to plan B.

Is that where your help file doesn't have an index entry for restoring old bookmarks? Then, when the information is located it refers to a subdirectory which doesn't exist? Then, when the correct directory is located the text which needs to be edited doesn't appear anywhere in the file?

Maybe... Actually the file name is wrong too.

It's a good plan. But I think I'll just try to recall the useful web sites and bookmark them again. If I can't remember one then it probably wasn't important. Let's see, I'll bookmark Blogger and...

I'm scoring this one as a draw.
 
Wednesday, April 5
 
Too cool for (two days of) school.

Emma came to visit and celebrate her birthday, which was great. There was a splendid dinner party on Saturday at Duffy Street (as Duffy Street is wont to do) and an ate-too-much lunch on Monday at Montezuma's. Also during the extended weekend (two days off work) were such diverse elements as: both of her Dungeons & Dragons campaigns, a movie, and nerding it up a notch with podcasts and skype. Emma rocks.

Just so you know...

Emma and I are friends now. (*Hugs* for Emma.)
 
This may not sound like the snappiest line from 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), but it evidently caught the imagination of John Landis, who has worked references to a mythical film of this name into most of his own movies - memorably as the grotty British skinflick watched by an assortment of lycanthropes and zombies in the climax of An American Werewolf in Paris [sic] (1981). Ghastly Beyond Belief, Neil Gaiman and Kim Newman

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Large balding wishful male anglo.

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