See You Next Wednesday
Monday, May 27
 
Don't hold your breath.

I'm having an slow time of it moving my web page over to my new ISP. For example: my connection timed out before my account page could download. So (before my browser crashes again) just watch this space occasionally.

... not to mention the four hours it has taken to get this post published.
 
Saturday, May 25
 
Can't write log, eating.

Saturday, after watching the clones attack with my nephew Luke, I had dinner at my brother's. Luke's review of Attack of the Clones was not good. Essentially, the final battle is not worth the wait even if you doze off in the middle.

Sunday was Katey's family birthday roast dinner at Joleka, followed by Becky nuding it up for some underwater photography of a light trap for reef fish (honest).

Monday was Katey's other birthday dinner at Frank's Pizza Napoli and Vesuviana Restaurant. Nobody finished their veal parmigiana, as usual.

Tuesday was pizza and videos at Commander Ironbark's with the usual suspects and special guest interlocutors Simon and Mikey, without the videos but with extra conversation.

Wednesday was back to my brother's for beer and pizza and a State of Origin game that was about as interesting as pizza the second night in a row.

Thursday I got to eat the pasta I cooked last Friday before visiting Chris and crushing my scooter's exhaust pipe on his driveway.

Friday evening was Attack of the Clones with Warwick and Dan and Dave and Lawrie and Chris. This time the person sitting next to me didn't stick his salty buttered fingers into the Coke by mistake, point out the bad guys loudly and occasionally incorrectly, or clamber onto my lap for a sleep; however he did mutter to himself and chortled loudly when Shmi died.
 
Monday, May 20
 
Weird or eerie? Sick or sad?

I processed a claim for Bereavement Payment last week. The stillborn child's name was Anakin. Now that I have seen Attack of the Clones the only explanation I have thought of is the child was due 16 May.

P.S. Don't try to start a conversation about this, it doesn't work. (And it ruins log entries, too.)
 
Friday, May 17
 
Weddings, parties, weddings.

I received two wedding invitations today. Congratulations and best wishes to my cousin Patrick and Anita, unfortunately I won't be in San Francisco in three weeks time to see the knot tied. However David and Fiona shall have to squeeze me into the ballroom in October, and the breakfast table too. I may have mentioned the impotence of wild horses to you previously, Dave.
 
Thursday, May 16
 
Q: When is 6.2 less than 4.72?

A: When you're waiting for Netscape to do it's thing.

It's back to the old browser for me, and once I've uninstalled and reset it all I'll be able to get back to my rut. I've decided to advance my departure schedule again, June will see the beginning of the "apply for anything, cold call vague acquaintances, request compassionate transfer" stage.

Later that same day... my browser could be as slick as oil on water, but nobody will know if I can't get my log to update.

Penthouse published pictures allegedly of Anna Kournikova, however they weren't. The photographs were of "the daughter-in-law of a fashion lieutenant", whatever that may be.

And in budget news: "Under the new rules [Disability Support Pension] will only be paid to people who cannot work at least 15 hours a week at award wages". So, as long as I get 3 hours sleep each night that's 21 hours a week I cannot work, well above the limit needed to qualify for the pension.

On a personal note, I love my sister... "I am going to the Lake District this weekend with some people from work and probably Frankfurt the weekend after that to visit a friend and then San Francisco for the two weekends after that (and the week in between) and then Barcelona the weekend after that and then I think I'm stuck in London for a weekend or two". What a little jetsetter!
 
Sunday, May 12
 
Put all your frustrations in one basket.
(Why I love the internet part three.)


I was going to write about how giving Emily a bath led to the dismantling of my lounge and all the cushions smelling of vanilla deodoriser. However I have a new ISP and a new email address and even a new internet browser, so of course I haven't been able to update my log for over a week.

Telstra sent me a letter to say they were unable to offer me an internet service because I had applied to have it billed to my telephone account but my telephone account was not with Telstra. Oddly, my telephone account was with Telstra ten days before when they sent me a bill. I phoned Telstra and Mike told me I should ask Dingoblue to "release" me so my telephone account could be transferred to Telstra. I phoned Dingoblue and Kate told me she had no idea what Mike was talking about. She suggested I phone Telstra and ask about my internet service without mentioning the billing arrangement. I phoned Telstra and Shae activated my internet service instantly.

I upgraded my browser to Netscape 6.2 because I know I'll be online all week changing my email address, transferring bookmarks etc. so I'll take the opportunity to become familiar with the new interface. I have lost all the "&emdash;" from magicdog vs sydney but See You Next Wednesday looks worse than before; and I hope I don't have to reboot every time I want to disconnect.
 
Wednesday, May 1
 
Ow! Stop it!
(Why I love the internet part two.)


I tried to give blood today. My right elbow failed to produce any blood when the nurse stuck the hypodermic into it. Sometimes if you move the hypodermic around you can get a better flow, but not this time. My left elbow did bleed when punctured, however I was donating plasma and the flow was not strong enough for the apheresis machine (even after a bit of wiggling) so they pumped it back into me. Now I have two sore elbows and the right one won't stop bleeding (yes, that right one) so I've had to skip yoga. The nurse asked me not to tell anybody where I had been today.

Finding my evening unexpectedly free I decided to set up my new Bigpond account so it will be ready in plenty of time for the demise of Dingoblue at the end of May. Following the instructions for the Internet Access Kit I was given at the Telstra Shop I inserted the CD into my CD ROM. A whole world did not unfold in front of me. There were more instructions in case if CD didn't run automatically so I double-clicked on the 'BigPond Start' icon. A whole world did not unfold in front of me. There were no more instructions.

I called the Customer Service Centre and spoke to Catherine who gave me more instructions to run programs. None of the programs worked, including Internet Explorer and a new dial-up connection. After fifteen minutes without a whole world unfolding in front of me Catherine passed me on to Luke. Luke was able to instruct me how to get a program to run and half an hour later Internet Explorer and the new dial-up connection both worked, and my Windows settings had been reset (the sort of gift that keeps on giving, thank you Telstra). With no more instructions to follow I needed to use my phone to permit a whole world to unfold in front of me.

Apparently a whole world would not unfold in front of me without a connection. Unable to establish a connection I called the Customer Service Centre (on my mobile phone) for some more instructions. Jim took 31 minutes and 55 seconds to instruct me how to correct the dial-up connection settings and the whole world of 'signup' opened up in front of me. It folded up again after twenty minutes so I unfolded it and started again. The third time I unfolded it I was quick enough to make it all the way to the end before it folded up again.

Unfortunately making it to the end wasn't enough. My new account will be ready within 72 hours and will be confirmed by letter (isn't technology wonderful). The instructions said to click on the 'Finish' button to return to the desktop. The instructions didn't mention what to do about the error messages, and I don't know how I'm meant to access my new account either. It has better be a good letter.
 
This may not sound like the snappiest line from 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), but it evidently caught the imagination of John Landis, who has worked references to a mythical film of this name into most of his own movies - memorably as the grotty British skinflick watched by an assortment of lycanthropes and zombies in the climax of An American Werewolf in Paris [sic] (1981). Ghastly Beyond Belief, Neil Gaiman and Kim Newman

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