See You Next Wednesday
Friday, September 26
Mupperational Opetship

On Wednesday Camilla, the content matter parrot who doesn't know how to train, was replaced by Gertrude, the trainer who hasn't read the content. The module about "Meetings" started late because: the venue was changed the afternoon before; two different starting times had been given; and Gertrude left to direct people from the old venue. Directions were required because the room was not yet complete so it didn't have a number and wasn't on the map. Also, it had no door, there was construction work taking place in the next room and at 3:00 a band set up outside. Due to the early finishing time this imposed the module on "Muppet Health & Safety" was postponed.
Thursday, September 18
One Man.

I went to the theatre with my ma to see Steven Berkoff. It was a good effort, being a one man show with no set and little costume (and poor lighting), but I was underwhelmed. He did two acts, the first might have been Edgar Allen Poe's Tell-Tale Heart as performed by Alexi Sayle directed by Flacco. The second piece was a bit violent, a bit gross, but directionless. Verbal sound effects and unconvincing mime used to present unrecognized caricatures, energetically executed but lacking a point. (B: could do better.)

I have just read the advertising blurb, apparently it was meant to be hilarious. B-
Thursday, September 11
How to fit ten hours of training (and lunch) into an eight hour day.

The course we are doing today will be tested next week on the Gold Coast*.

Amalgamate two courses, present the new course before the content has been settled, and leave out stuff which doesn’t fit. Prepare participants to accept this justification by directing them to nonsensical course prerequisites with broken resource links. On the day, enhance their sense of uncertainty (and your authority to do as you wish) by providing the training outcomes just before the first break, the training resources before lunch, and telling people where the toilets and fire exits are in the afternoon.

To begin, say you are looking forward to doing part twenty-one, then start at part three. Arrange people into uneven groups. Use an obviously simple method applied in a pointlessly complicated way; don’t explain why. Ask the groups to do two things: make a list, and an activity requiring only two people. Wait as long as you wish then announce the groups should almost be through the second task by now. Get the groups to amalgamate their lists. If one group says one of their items has been listed by another group, suggest they should have gone first. Ask the groups about the pairs activity. If they did it as a group, suggest they should have paired up. If they paired up, suggest they should have done it as a group.

Mention part twenty-one again, don’t mention part four, go to part five. Hand out six booklets to fifteen people. Dictate a question about a single fact contained in the booklet. Wait as long as you wish. Ask one person how they went with the question. Agree with the person and praise the booklet, suggesting everybody should purchase one, even when the person says they didn’t find the answer and the booklet was misprinted.

Part six is four pages long so read out the headings and say “we’ll have time to go through them in detail this afternoon” and mention part twenty-one. (N.B. Don’t go through them in detail this afternoon.) Tell the participants they have already demonstrated an understanding of part seven. Skip part eight. Begin part ten and say “we will refer back to part nine”. (N.B. Don’t refer back to part nine.)

Tell people to get back into their groups and explain the task to some people who are not in the same group. Tell those people they are now a group and rearrange the rest of the participants into new groups as well. When somebody asks a question, interrupt all the groups to give an answer. If nobody asks a question, interrupt all the groups to make a suggestion. When you are ready, interrupt all the groups to read the learning outcome from the facilitator’s guide and move on to part twelve, omitting part eleven.

Direct the participants to carefully read the instructions for the psychological exercise in part twelve. Specifically direct the participants to ignore one of the instructions. Talk about the academic qualifications of the author and your own certification to conduct the exercise. Wonder aloud about the consistent failure of this exercise in training courses you have conducted. Imply participants who did get something out of the exercise probably followed the instruction you told them to ignore, as if this was a bad thing. Break for lunch.

Immediately after lunch, mention part twenty-one, turn down the lights and watch a video of a talking head (part thirteen). Tell the participants you think they are “across” part fourteen. Go directly to part twenty-one. Make a complete shambles out of a kindergarten game. Finish an hour early.

Camilla on teamwork.
Everybody has strengths and weaknesses. If you use your strengths the weaknesses will just not be there.”.

Camilla on criticism.
Sometimes constructive isn’t constructive at all.”.

*The time management module is pending results from CERN.
Tuesday, September 9
Preparational Muppetship

I have another session of Operational Muppetship training* tomorrow.
PLEASE NOTE: Almost all the modules will have pre-reading. Print the pre-reading and resources prior to the training day. This can be found on the link below, then click on each of the sites listed:
1. Directory
2. Training branch
3. Programs
4. Operational Muppetship
5. Participant Information
By following the steps you end up back at the page which the link took you to initially.
Operational Muppetship - Participant Information
The Operational Muppetship Participan[t] information has moved to the Operational Muppetship Program / Module Resource page. You will be directed in 5 seconds. If you are not, please click this link:
I was not redirected and there is no link, but fortunately this misinformation is at the top of the Module Resource page, so that's a good thing.

Tomorrow's training day has two modules scheduled: "Muppeteering (Part 1) - stagecraft" and "Muppeteering (Part 2) - leglessness". Muppeteering (Part 1) has no pre-reading, Muppeteering (Part 2) does.
Pre-requisite: Learners must complete the following pre-reading before undertaking this module:
The document speaks for itself:
Pre-reading 1: Review of Module 'Muppeteering part 1
Your pre-reading activity is to revise the Module "Stagecraft part 1.
Revise with the following question in mind.
Q: What were some important learnings for you in this module. [Original punctuation.]
The Pre-reading 2 hyperlink was broken.

Paradox managment.

It seems to me the time management module is (was or will be) an essential pre-requisite to this session.

Part 1 has a scheduled duration of 4 hours 15 minutes, Part 2 has a scheduled duration of 5 hours 45 minutes: 10 hours in total. The training starts at 8:30am and ends at 4:30pm: 8 hours, without breaks.

Does anybody know a theory of time management which would allow not only the revision of a module before it has been completed, but also before the skills required to revise a module before it has been completed have been learned?




Thursday, September 4

Too sick to blog...
This may not sound like the snappiest line from 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), but it evidently caught the imagination of John Landis, who has worked references to a mythical film of this name into most of his own movies - memorably as the grotty British skinflick watched by an assortment of lycanthropes and zombies in the climax of An American Werewolf in Paris [sic] (1981). Ghastly Beyond Belief, Neil Gaiman and Kim Newman

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Location: Canberra, Australian Capital Territory, Australia

Large balding wishful male anglo.

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