See You Next Wednesday
Tuesday, September 12
 
We've been stung by a smooth criminal.

A hinge on our neighbour's rubbish bin broke. On Sunday he placed his bins next to where I put our bins out for collection; on the curb across the lawn from his driveway. I noticed because it's right next to our driveway and he's never put them there before.
(In fact, he has previously moved our bins from there in some sort of protest against our bins being on his side of what would be the property line if there wasn't a nature strip. He did this a few times but the curb in front of our house is too steep to stand a bin on and he gave up.)
But on Sunday evening his bins were right there next to our driveway so I put out our bins next to his bins. On Monday afternoon when I got home there were only two bins on the curb. Our recycling bin and - his rubbish bin with the broken hinge! Oh no!
Our neighbour had, somehow, taken our intact bin instead of his own broken one. Obviously it was an honest mistake. Those bins all look the same and, in the bright light of day, he could have easily confused our bin for his own. If he had been trying to surreptitiously swap the bins, surely he would have moved his bin to where our bin had been when he took it. Then his ruse wouldn't have been immediately obvious to a casual observer who hadn't even got out of the car yet.
This morning it took less than two minutes on the phone to arrange a free new bin for us.
 
Comments:
You have, of course, burnt his house down and killed all his relatives as retribution, haven't you Mr.Soze?
 
I recommend egging his car.
You might wait until winter, though. Otherwise, eggs break and only cause subdual damage.
 
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This may not sound like the snappiest line from 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), but it evidently caught the imagination of John Landis, who has worked references to a mythical film of this name into most of his own movies - memorably as the grotty British skinflick watched by an assortment of lycanthropes and zombies in the climax of An American Werewolf in Paris [sic] (1981). Ghastly Beyond Belief, Neil Gaiman and Kim Newman

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